29 Apr Trying To Beat Insecurity? Focus On Your Fears.

 

There is nothing I hate more in this world than insecurity and ego. Not because I believe I am exempt from this common human experience, but because I witness everyday the damage it does to people’s lives. How it holds them back, cripples them in action, and prevents them from living a fulfilled life. As complex as ego and insecurity can be, what they really boil down to is one base emotion; fear.

The Breakdown: What Is Insecurity?

Simply, insecurity is fear turned inward. Deep down, you feel fearful of your safety, belonging, your value. You don’t feel good enough, you don’t feel worthy, you feel you can’t be yourself without being judged. Don’t get me wrong, this is a natural feeling for every human being to feel at some point, but to experience it to the degree that society is currently displaying it indicates that something is deeply wrong.

And on the opposite end of that scale, ego is fear turned outward. When I see a person displaying ego or arrogance, I don’t see a confident person; I see someone who is hurting on the inside. Someone who doesn’t feel safe and is projecting a false sense of confidence as a defense mechanism to protect themselves. It is total BS, but it’s the only thing they know to do.

Regardless if you express your fear as insecurity or fear, it still has a negative impact on your confidence and life. Fear as insecurity becomes problematic when it controls your words and actions, because as I say, decisions made out of fear rarely produce a positive result.

What Is Causing People’s Fear?

I see the cause of insecurity coming down to mainly two factors. The first is environment. If you’re in an environment that doesn’t foster safety and security, you’re going to constantly feel fear. This is apparent in our modern capitalistic society where your safety is not automatically provided. Your safety, security, self worth, and freedom are determined by your ability to earn money. Whether through work, business, or being attractive enough to make being a gold digger a profession, your ability to earn equals survival.

You can see how this would produce feelings of anxiety, stress, and not being good enough for not living up to the cultural idea of “making it”. I’ll tell you a little secret, you’ll never be good enough in our society’s eyes because by it’s very nature, it constantly demands more.

The second factor is your upbringing. Previously the raising of children and their emotional security was a communal effort; as they say it takes a village to raise a child. Your parents, your family, extended family, neighbors, church, and teachers all pitched in to help you develop emotionally and learn to regulate your emotions in a positive manner.

Now in our highly individualistic society, parents are trying to do on their own. Which once was the job of an entire community, parents now have the not so bright idea that they can make it successfully solo and they are struggling or outright failing. Question… with both parents at work during the day and completely burnt out in the evening, who is taking care of their children emotional wellbeing for proper development? Probably TikTok. Good luck with that crapshoot.

How To Beat Insecurity

Being insecure currently doesn’t mean you’ll always be that way. In fact, there is a single simple step that you can take to practically eliminate it. Considering that the root cause and source of insecurity is fear, all you have to do is face your fear. I know, a simple step, but not at all easy. Either way, it is what it requires. The reality is that life is struggle. There is no getting around this and no one is exempt. From animals to plants to humans, every living thing on this planet struggles, but what determines who makes it is majorly who can face their fears and overcome them.

To overcome you fears takes courage. By courage, I mean that despite FEELING fear, you push through anyways and meet your challenge head on. You don’t let it take hold and control you; you have the understanding that it is just a feeling, that you do have the ability to take it on, and that you will not let your insecurity rob you of opportunity or your potential anymore. You are not your emotions, they are simply something you feel for a very short time, but the effects of your actions are often lasting.

The Insecurity Challenge

So for people who struggle with insecurity, you have the cause (fear), you have the tactic for overcoming that fear (courage), and you have the opportunity to act on that courage in your daily life. The question is will you do it, or shrink back down and hide as insecurity made you do before? This is what will determine whether you overcome and grow beyond your insecurity, or if you continue to let it control you and rob you of your potential for who you can really be. Cold truth, not everyone survives; this is natures rule of natural selection for which we are all subject to. The challenge is do you want survival bad enough to change? Only your actions can answer this, may courage be with you.

GI SAID IT is where bold perspective meets brutal honesty. Hosted by GI Griffin, this show and blog challenges conventional thinking, exposes uncomfortable truths, and delivers no-BS insights for independent minds who are tired of surface-level advice. GI SAID IT: Brutally honest, no-BS. Click for more GI SAID IT shows and articles.