24 Jul The Language of Improvement

Improvement is a language I know well. I have a strange obsession with constantly trying to improve; perhaps it’s from childhood trauma from being driven by parents to be the best or my overly competitive nature. What ever the reason, it’s naturally in me to want to improve myself and the things or people around me. Everyone has the capabilities to improve, but not everyone is willing. It takes a conscious effort to take on the task of bettering yourself and grit to keep at it even when you fail. I want to touch on the language of improvement and how to master it to better your life and the lives of those you care about.

Taking Criticism To The Face

All improvement will start with taking or accepting some kind of criticism. You can’t know what to fix until you know what’s wrong. Sometimes that criticism will come externally from someone else, or it may come internally from the realization that you might suck a little in a particular area. This is the tried and true moment to where you can either graciously accept this criticism if correct, or deny, make excuses, and lash out. One is a mature response, the other liken to a bratty child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the toy isle. Being able to take criticism well shows maturity and humility, both good qualities for any adult.

This doesn’t mean take all criticism to heart; sometimes its BS or born out of jealousy and hate from a person. Remember the saying, “Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.” I’ll also say, never let your ego keep you from bettering your life. Ego is the main cause of people not being able to take criticism, suggestions, or advice that might improve their life or the lives of those they care about. It’s an insidious disease that takes over when you’re taking a hit to your inner insecurity and your fragile sense of self needs to protect itself from taking an uppercut of criticism to the face.

Internal Work Is Your Ticket

Before you can improve anything or anyone outside of your life, you must first master and improve yourself. All change starts with you before it can be realized externally. Pay attention when someone criticizes you or suggests a better way to do something. Do you flinch and react defensively, or do you listen intently for any information that you could benefit from? The person may not necessarily saying that you are a sh-tty person, but instead are handing you golden nuggets of opportunity on a silver platter. Take the nuggets.

Systemize Your Improvement

My approach to improvement is systematic. The reason for this is it’s best to break up your improvement goal into bite size pieces. It lets you track your progress as well as giving you an encouragement hit to carry you on to the next task. I usually like to start with the big picture which is why you are trying to improve in the first place. If you don’t know your “why”, you don’t know the purpose of your actions and they have no meaning. Knowing why you wish to improve in an area shines a light on the path of where you are and where you’d like to be.

Next, write down exactly what you’re trying to improve which is your goal. Be sure to include the usual descriptors (who, what, how, when, etc) that help to contextualize it. You could even take an approach from marketing strategy and make it a S.M.A.R.T. goal (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound). This goal becomes your new mission in which you’ll focus your efforts on achieving while keeping the “why” of what you’re doing in the back of your mind at all times so you don’t lose your way when in the weeds.

Lastly, organize each step needed to achieve your goal. I usually break this down chronologically into a sequence from the first action to the finishing action and work them one at a time. My Grandpa used to always say “Step by step” and that’s exactly how you need to work to hit your goals; one step at a time.

Accept You Won’t Be Perfect

If you’re trying to improve to reach an imaginary state of perfection, you’re in for some ice cream dropping in the dirt disappointment. No one is perfect, and no one will be perfect. It’s not about reaching perfection, but about being better than you were yesterday so you can do better than you have been for the sake of tomorrow. The need to be the best is usually labeled as perfectionism, but in reality, that person feels insecure and inadequate which is why they push so hard to be “more”. To them, being the best equates to being loved (a word to their parents, you f-ked up).

Instead of being perfect, just try to be better than you were yesterday. It’s not about beating others, but about growing yourself. It doesn’t even have to be something life changing. It could be simply cleaning up after yourself, getting that errand done you’ve been avoiding (I’m guilty of this), or spending an extra 10 minutes with your children so they don’t grow up to be insecure perfectionists. Over time, these little improvements add up to a big change in character and capabilities.

Make The Move

Waiting to improve will yield you no results. You have to make a deliberate choice to work on yourself and decisive action to make it happen. Clarify your “why” for improvement, set intentional goals, and then break the goals down into specific steps that will carry you toward the vision of better that you see. Step by step is the rhythm to which goals are achieved, improvement is had, and growth is earned. Make your move and seize the opportunity in front of you, or get out the way so someone else can.

GI’s unique perspective delivered in a style that is unapologetically honest, straight to the point, and at times a bit brutal. GI SAID IT: Brutally honest, no BS. Click for more GI SAID IT shows and articles.