30 Mar Beyond The Bucket List: Building A Life I Don’t Need To Escape From

As a wanderlust, my goal was to be featured on 30 Under 30 – not on Forbes, but on the world. I traveled almost every month, reaching nearly 30 countries by the age of 26. I slept under the stars, rode a camel across the Sahara Desert like The Alchemist, explored the landscapes that inspired The Avatar movies in China, felt the spiritual energy of Tibet, visited The Lord of the Rings filming locations, walked the Philosopher’s Path under cherry blossoms in Japan, stood in the haunting silence of concentration camps, and so much more.

Like many working professionals, I lived for my next trip, believing life was perfect – until it wasn’t. Then came the “midlife crisis”. Covid hit. I found myself juggling work, a baby, a mortgage and parents getting older. My dreams of traveling the world, along with the financial means to support them, shattered before my eyes. Without travel, my life felt empty and meaningless. I denied this reality and fell into depression.

I soon realized that I wasn’t alone. Many people around me felt the same quiet dissatisfaction – either longing to escape the rat race or simply feeling unfulfilled. Despite our distractions – work, travel, food, concerts, kids – the emptiness remained. Carl Jung, a renowned psychologist, described this as “the general neurosis of our times”. It’s not a clinical condition like depression nor a mental illness, but rather a deep sense of meaninglessness and disconnection from oneself, often expressed as a quiet desperation for answers. Thankfully, he also suggested a solution: instead of seeking external validation, we should turn inward, exploring our unconscious mind to find meaning and purpose.

Out of boredom, I began exploring interests I never knew I had – psychology, philosophy, and self-reflection. It was a very lonely journey at first. Suddenly, even those closest to me couldn’t understand me. I felt overwhelmed by a flood of new knowledge, caught in an uncomfortable space where my old identity had faded, yet my new one had yet to fully form. I saw both my strengths and weaknesses in stark clarity, feeling both proud and ashamed. Depression still lingered, but then I came across this quote:

“If you don’t know what to pursue in life right now, pursue yourself. Pursue becoming the healthiest, happiest, most healed, most present, most confident version of yourself. Then the right path will reveal itself.”

And so, I kept pursuing myself.

Through this journey, I met new friends who shared my curiosity and values. I learned to accept and love who I am. And something unexpected happened – I no longer felt the need to travel. Instead, I found joy in deep conversations at a local Stoic group, in the connection I felt with a lovely community of INFJs, and in the intellectual stimulation of discussing a wide range of topics with like-minded people. I realized that I was no longer searching for an escape. I had built a life I didn’t need to run from.

Brené Brown captures this transition perfectly in The Gifts of Imperfection: “People may call what happens at midlife ‘a crisis’ but it’s not – it’s an unraveling. It’s a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re supposed to live.”

To those who have been part of my self-exploration journey (you know who you are), I am forever grateful. I want to continue this momentum and pay this forward by building The Tribe, to create a home where the lonely can belong, to bring together like-minded people with shared values, and to lift each other up during this challenging yet transformative stage of growth.

The Tribe is a collective of individuals committed to growth, wisdom, and connection with other like minds. We don’t follow trends—we live by truth, self improvement, and action. Join our mission.