GI Griffin | How to Deal with Difficult Personalities in the Workplace or School

03 Nov How to Deal with Difficult Personalities in the Workplace or School

Posted at 07:22h in Featured, GI SAID IT by GI Griffin

Here’s the truth you don’t want to hear (but need to): Difficult personalities are everywhere. You’ll encounter them at work, in school, and even at the family barbecue. Now the question is, how do you handle them without losing your sanity—or better yet, use these situations to your advantage? That’s where strategy comes in.

I’ve been in enough professional environments to say this with 100% confidence—there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But there are effective ways to manage these situations. And today, I’m breaking it all down.

Now buckle up, and learn how to handle workplace (or school) conflict like the boss you are.

First, Know This—You Don’t Have to Engage Every Problem Person

My approach to handling difficult people? I usually don’t. If someone’s behavior is consistently toxic, unproductive, or immature, I’ll make the call to disengage entirely when possible. Why? Because I’m not here to spend my energy fixing someone else’s internal baggage. Most of the time, problem behavior stems from their own unresolved personal issues, and unless you’re their therapist or life coach, that’s not your job to fix.

When someone repeatedly acts out, whether it’s being negative in meetings or shirking responsibilities in a group project, they’re likely to continue exhibiting those behaviors. Recognize the pattern, and make the decision—Is this someone I need to work around, or can I walk away altogether?

Here’s the deal though—walking away isn’t always an option. Especially if you’re dealing with coworkers, supervisors, classmates, or project partners. That’s when you shift gears and step into managing the situation strategically.

Step 1: Start by Knowing Yourself

Before you even attempt to handle someone else’s drama, you need to get crystal clear on who you are. That includes your boundaries, values, and priorities. Why? Because clarity on what you stand for is going to define what behaviors you’ll tolerate—and which ones are a no-go.

Ask yourself these questions:

What are my personal values?
What am I willing to compromise on, and what’s non-negotiable?
How does this tricky situation align (or conflict) with my goals?

When you have these answers locked in, you’ll know exactly how to approach a difficult person. Some people? Not worth your time. But if it’s someone you can’t avoid, you’ll know how to deal with them while staying true to your values.

Step 2: Observation > Reaction

When dealing with difficult personalities, the biggest mistake you can make is being reactive. Think of yourself like a chess player watching the board. Instead of responding to every move impulsively, you pause, observe, and calculate your approach.

Here’s how this works:

Focus on their actions, not their words. People lie, sugarcoat, or manipulate. But their actions? That’s where the real truth is.
Analyze their behavioral patterns. What are their strengths? Weaknesses? What situations bring out their best or worst?
Stay emotionally neutral. Difficult personalities often thrive on pushing buttons. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you rattled.

Whether it’s at work or school, once you understand the person’s patterns, you’ll know how to position them in a way that minimizes conflict and maximizes outcomes for the team.

Step 3: Strategize to Win

Alright, you’ve done your self-work and watched their patterns. Now, it’s time to take control of the situation.

Here’s the game plan:

Assign Roles Wisely in Teams or Projects

If it’s a group setting, align tasks with individual strengths (and weaknesses). The loud talker? Point them toward leadership roles where they can channel their energy. The quiet researcher? Give them solo tasks where they can thrive without being interrupted. Problematic individuals? Place them in roles with minimal opportunity to derail progress.

Leverage Them for Advantage

Not everyone’s going to morph into your best employee or classmate, but even the most difficult personalities have utility. Recognize what value they can provide (even if it’s small), and position them where they can contribute positively.

Prepare Backup Solutions

Have alternative plans in case the problem person derails progress. Whether it’s a fallback strategy or addressing concerns to your manager/professor early, prep for the worst while working for the best.

Step 4: Don’t Be Afraid to Escalate If Necessary

Sometimes, disengagement or strategic maneuvering doesn’t cut it. If someone’s toxicity starts harming your work, team morale, or mental health, it’s time to escalate.

Approach Leadership with Facts, Not Feelings. Instead of ranting, show concrete examples of how this person’s behavior negatively impacts the organization’s goals.
Don’t Waste Time on “Fixing” Conversations. While giving someone a second chance is fair, don’t beat a dead horse. If they aren’t interested in improving after an initial conversation, remove yourself and involve the appropriate parties.

Your end goal? Protect your sanity and prioritize results. Period.

The Harsh Truth About Workplace Conflict

Here’s something most professionals won’t tell you—difficult personalities aren’t just a challenge. They’re often a sign of deeper issues in your work or education environment, like a lack of accountability or bad team culture.

And while I’d love to promise you every toxic coworker or disengaged classmate will come around, that’s not the world we live in.

Your next move, though, is where you’ll prove yourself. Will you rise above through strategy, adaptability, and decisive action? Or will you waste time hoping for others to change?

My Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, dealing with difficult personalities comes down to one thing—focusing on your goals and what you can control. By staying grounded in your values, observing the dynamics around you, and playing the long game, you’ll set yourself up for success, even in tough environments.

Want more no-nonsense tips like these? Subscribe to my newsletter, GI SAID IT, for brutally honest advice on navigating work, life, and everything in between.

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Don’t just survive the game. Play to win. Time to level up.

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SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Saying that’s probably going to get ’em canceled. Ooh, I’m telling mama she don’t love you Anyways, GI said it. Yeah, I said it. GI here on GI said it where I break down my perspective on different topics, and today I got to give a shout out to the homegirl Anika because you brought up a topic that I think needs to be talked about, and that topic is how to deal with different personalities within the workplace and school and in particular difficult personalities. Now, the thing that I told her is what? I’ll tell you that I have two different answers. There’s one that I do for myself and there’s one that I do or that I suggest for other people. The reason why is because of my perspective and how I like to approach things, which for the most part is fairly aggressive. On the other end, when you’re dealing with working a job, you can’t always approach things in that way.

So I’ll say what I do for myself first, and then I’ll say what I suggest for other people with difficult personalities in the workplace or in school. My own perspective is I don’t deal with them. The main reason is because usually when I see a certain type of behavior or action from a person, in which case it’s creating a problem, it’s usually an internal issue, and it also means that they’re probably going to repeat those type of behaviors in other areas, and you’re going to see it come out in multiple different ways of emotionally acting out. So I just chalk that up to L. I don’t want to deal with it. I don’t see a benefit. I don’t see it helping the business or company or school or education. So I just disregard those people and go about what I’m doing right now. You can see how that’s not always possible in the workplace.

So that’s why I give the secondary advice that I have, and that is first and foremost, know who you are. Take the time, right? Take the time to actually find out and explore who am I, what’s important to me? What are my values? The reason I’m saying this is because when you do that, then you’re going to know your boundaries. You’re going to know what you find acceptable and not acceptable and what you’re willing to deal with and what you’re not willing to deal with. And within that then you’ll know, Hey, it’s a loss for these people in terms of interacting with them. So I’m not going to deal with that. Or Hey, that’s beyond my values, or it’s not productive or it’s not important to me, so I’m just going to move in a different direction. In addition to finding out who you are and establishing those boundaries, then hey, I can interact with this person to be successful.

I can’t interact with that person and it would be successful. Now that again, it comes down to hey, kind of not dealing with the people who are problems, right? I avoid problem people. That’s not always possible within the workplace or school. So if I have to deal with someone who has a difficult personality and I have no choice, then I’m going to start pulling out the chest moves. I’m going to analyze first. I’m going to watch. I’m going to watch not what they say. I don’t really care what people say because a lot of times people don’t either understand themselves, they don’t know that they’re lying to themselves. Instead, I want to see your actions. That’s the only thing that matters to me. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you say, what I care about is what you do. So I watch their actions and that lets you know what each person, how they are, their strengths, their weaknesses, where they would be best within that organization, and from doing that analysis, then you strategically can know, Hey, if I place this person in this situation or I inspire or move them into this particular situation, it’s going to be a lot better for everyone.
So like group projects within school, that’s definitely how I approach it. I want to see, okay, this person’s kind of the leader of people. Cool, we’ll put them in that position. They do what they do. This person likes to do research on their own quiet, but they come back with great information. Hey, you go ahead and go do that. This person in particular is a bit of a problem, but they’re entertaining. So I would then either create or put them in the position of which case they can do that. It’s all about being who you are and having your natural skills and taking advantage of that. I had to talk about it because I definitely see a lot of people not having acceptable behaviors when it comes to school or work. One of the biggest ones is laziness them not caring, and to me that’s completely ridiculous.

If you’re paying money, a lot of money to go to school and you don’t care enough to actually go ahead and put in the work and do what you need to do, you are wasting your time and other people’s time. That is a lack of respect in general. I don’t respect that. So a lot of people won’t really care about those things. Those are the people, in which case, hey, sometimes you just got to let them do them and you do. It has to do with a lack of foresight, a lack of understanding of the importance of that thing that’s in front of them. They haven’t reached a certain level of maturity to act like an adult and do what they need to do. So when it comes to a situation that you have no choice, learn the game, learn, Hey, this person’s going to be great for this.

That person will be bad for that. You’re able to navigate through strategy. You’re able to navigate your situation, your organization, your school, so that you can come out with a win, because that’s ultimately where it’s coming down to, right? You have to learn how to take care of yourself. You have to learn how to progress in the best way for your own success in your own family, because again, that’s another reality of life. A lot of people are constantly, Hey, other people should care about what I care about. Other people should care about what I care about. The reality is that the people who may care about what you care about, probably going to be family and just my own approach is I usually put myself and them first. Everything after that, okay? With whatever leftover energy I have, let’s go ahead and dive into that.

Now, there are times when it gets absolutely crazy and a person is just causing massive amounts of problems. There’s issues, there’s fights going on. Sometimes it is time to take an action, in which case to eliminate that if that’s going to be a problem for yourself or your family. So sometimes you either have to go to a boss on that, you could try and talk to ’em, but my experience as a person’s a problem. They’re usually not very good with logic because it’s usually emotional things that’s going on, and so the talks don’t always go as well. So I’ll try that. I like to give people a chance. I’ll try that first. Hey, let’s have a talk. Let’s figure out what’s going on. Let’s see how we can get you to improve or get you where you need to go. The moment that I see that they are not interested in that, I’m out.

I don’t have time for that. I respect myself enough and my time to not be putting up with that and get on with what I’m doing right now. This isn’t some random thing in terms of my thoughts. This has to do with my experience in multiple companies, and it’s almost the same every time. It’s literally dealing with the same issues every single time has yet to change because it has to do with the human condition of having emotional issues, and you’re not going to be able to solve that. That person either needs to go to therapy or they need to figure out how to solve it, or the one I’d go to their parents. They need to do something about that because as the person’s developing and growing, you are responsible for them. Their actions, how they are in the future will be dictated by how well of a job you do as a parent.

So in reality, those parents need to either do something about that. If they don’t have the knowledge of it, then they need to find someone who has the knowledge of it so that that person doesn’t become a problem for other people. So hopefully you’re seeing a pattern here where it’s an eternal issue that’s going on, in which case they’re acting out because they don’t have the skills on how to deal with that as an adult. And as I said, that is always a loss. So Anika, I got to give you a shout out because I really wanted to talk about that and you definitely put it on my mind to get into it. Hopefully this helped you guys out in terms of how to navigate the workplace or school when dealing with difficult personalities, there’s many ways to do it. This is just the way that I found to be most effective. But again, you know me. If I see someone who’s the problem, I’m out. I don’t have time for that. Alright, guys. You know where to check me out gi griffin.com here on gi. Set it. I’m out.