22 Jun Inside The Mysterious INTJ World

It seems there is no other personality type that causes confusion and controversy as much as the INTJ. Logical, strategic, aloof. Often seen as either exceptionally intelligent or arrogant. Which ever you view the INTJ as, I want to give you a peek into the inner world of an INTJ and separate misconstrued perception from what it’s really like to be an INTJ.

INTJ – Logical, Analytical, & Strategic

First off, I am an INTJ myself and yes we are logical. Like Spock logical. Every decision I make goes through a process of collecting and sifting through data gathered by observing or researching, analyzing that data, and then strategizing the most efficient and effective way to do something. It is the same process I use in my strategy consulting, except applied to every single thing in my life. Sound exhausting? I would say for people of other personality types that it would be tiring as hell, but for an INTJ, it is our main mode of operation and ironically quite energizing.

If INTJ’s had a religion, our commandments would be efficiency and effectiveness and our God would be innovative solutions. It’s what we live for, what we breathe, and what we do best. This can be seen in how we show that we love and care for others. Instead of hugging and offering a shoulder to cry on for those going through emotional struggles, we instead design a solution to solve your problems (life has taught me this is not always the best approach). Often times, this form of showing love is not welcome and gets confused with trying to control the situation.

INTJ Arrogance

Let’s talk about the misconception that many people have about the INTJ personality type, arrogance. As INTJ’s, we have spent most our lives improving at what we do. While others are out partying, we are working on our knowledge and skills. This gives us extreme confidence in what we know and our areas of expertise. To the less confident, it is this extreme confidence that gets perceived as arrogance. By definition, arrogance or ego is an inflated or inaccurate perception of one’s own abilities. It’s not that INTJ’s have an inflated or inaccurate perception of our abilities, but that we have worked damn hard and long at them to be confident in them. The confidence was earned, not born. Remember, while we know what we do know, more importantly, we know what we don’t know.

Also, there is one pattern I’ve found when someone calls me arrogant (yes this happens)… It almost always comes from a person who is highly insecure. I’ve seen that when you display extreme confidence around a highly insecure person, that confidence highlights their own lack of confidence and makes them feel even more insecure. When this happens, they usually lash out looking to tear down the person to make themselves feel better. Entirely predictable behavior, and entirely a personal problem on their end, not an objective one on mine. I will always analyze my behaviors if someone calls me arrogant to make sure I’m not acting like that, but if I see it’s just that I am very experienced and skilled in that area and therefore confident in my abilities in that regard, I then disregard the comment and often moving forward, disregard the person as well. Being around such insecurity is rarely a win for anyone.

The Power of Observation

Besides developing solutions and strategizing, as INTJ’s we have a unique knack for observation. We are always watching. Everything. And everyone. That is how we “collect data”. We sit and watch a situation or people and look for the “why”. Why did this person do this? Why did this situation play out the way it did? Why am I seeing a pattern of behaviors from this group of people? I mean really, our favorite question is why (couldn’t you tell?). We like to know the inner workings of things and motivations behind an action or outcome.

This obsession with observing to find the why often leads us into that damn “INTJ death stare”. I swear we aren’t serial killers, we just look that way when observing or thinking hard about a concept. An emotionless face with a stare of such intensity looking through you that apparently makes people uncomfortable. I swear we are harmless, most of the time. We observe to learn and we learn to apply effectively. Again, this is our mode of operation, RBF death stare in all.

INTJs & Society

Okay, I’m going to be real for a second (like usual), INTJ’s are not the biggest fans of people or society. We don’t all hate people (some do), but we find people and society terribly inefficient, highly irrational (to their own detriment), and down right destructive. Any INTJ has experienced and seen these traits when interacting with people or dealing with society. Some say that what an INTJ wants most is for people to make sense and act rationally, but this is a pipe dream. People, especially today, are often lead by their emotions which change from second to second, day to day, situation to situation. One day someone is willing to solve a problem that they are causing at work, the next they rather ignore it and active like it never existed. Emotions + denial is a hell of a drug.

What we secretly want most with society and people is to help others. We love solving problems and improving things. One problem… the persons involved have to first let us help, and this is where we hit a brick wall. It goes a bit like this. We spend countless hours at getting better in a particular area, that experience allows us to see a potential pitfall in that area, we confidently point out this problem and confidently propose a solution, people are turned off by this confidence, cast doubt on how it’s impossible for us to know the solution, and say we are arrogant. Our suggestion is then ignored and that very pitfall which we are very experienced in happens exactly as we said it would. Enter INTJ PTSD and trip to our therapist. Welcome to the daily life of an INTJ. Can we say Cassandra Syndrome?

INTJ Reality

For some reason, either people think it’s this special thing to be an INTJ, or they absolutely can’t stand us. Either way, we are just different, not special. We work extremely hard at things we are passionate about or think are important instead of partying. This gives us the confidence and ability to do certain things efficiently and effectively. Still, we must always be on the watch to keep our egos in check and practice humility; if not for ourselves, then for those around us who we care for.

It is a tough road to be on as an INTJ in a world that is the complete utter opposite of you, but it’s one we must walk as this is who we are. Learn to leverage your gifts to achieve the things you want for yourself and those around you. Lead quietly by setting an example. People are always watching even when you think they aren’t.

The purpose of this GI SAID IT blog is simple, to provide perspective. GI delivers this unique perspective in a style that is unapologetically honest, straight to the point, and at times a bit brutal. GI SAID IT: Brutally honest, no BS. Click for more GI SAID IT shows and articles.