21 May The Art of Looking at Yourself Honestly

Taking a good hard look at yourself in the mirror is difficult for everyone. Not only does it require that you’re willing to look at your faults, but it also requires a desire to improve in the first place. This is something many struggle with for various reasons, and may be the very source of the many issues they face in their lives. In this essay, I’d like to talk about the art of looking at yourself honestly and the many benefits you get from doing this.

Do You Really Need To Examine Yourself?

If you want to improve, then yes, you need to examine yourself. Working as an advisor, it’s literally the first step I take in trying to figure out how to unsh-tify a situation. You need to audit your situation honestly, assess where the problems are, and come up with a strategic plan to execute in order to fix those problems and grow. The same steps I use for businesses and startups is the same steps you use to analyze yourself and come up with a plan to improve.

Avoidance of The Pain of Growth

Many people avoid looking at themselves for the simple fact of pain. To them, it is painful to “look at the monster in the mirror” because that’s how they feel about themselves and how they see themselves. Ladies and gentlemen, this is called insecurity and this fear based emotion wreaks havoc on your life.

Peoples avoidance of the pain that all growth requires is the reason they stay exactly where they are. We’ve all seen it in various forms… Living with their mom at 40 while wishing they had a place of their own. Stuck in the same lower level job position when they desire a promotion to move up. Even trapped in a relationship that is toxic to their health, despite desperately wanting to move on. Every single one of these scenarios requires change to move forward from them, but that necessary change is often avoided because it requires a cold hard look at themselves and their flaws as painful penance. An inability to accept that they are the cause of their situation and that only they have the power to change it.

The Hidden Costs of Denial

Avoiding some honest self examination brings a host of issues because you never give yourself the chance to truly grow. It affects your work, relationships, family, passions, and your goals. For each one of these to improve, the one thing that will single handedly better all of them is self improvement. This only happens with honest self reflection and strategic action to take the steps towards growth.

Another issue with dodging the chance to face some hard truths and growing is that you rob yourself of the chance to struggle a bit. I know, you’re thinking why the hell do I want to struggle willingly? Well all things in life must struggle to some degree, this is a requirement of life. Some struggles are different than others in nature, but they are struggle none the less. Accepting and pushing forward through struggle makes you stronger. It makes you able to handle different obstacles that you’ll inevitably come across in your life. Your tolerance for pain and struggle are like a muscle, you have to work it in order for it to get stronger and be able to better handle it. This in essence is a good representation of growing up and the process of becoming a capable adult.

Courage Is The Way

The way that you overcome the resistance to facing the pain of honest self reflection is simply courage. Having the courage to say I am human, I am flawed, and I can do better. Meeting this obstacle of insecurity head on and smacking it in the face with the pimp hand of God. Okay maybe not all that, but having the courage to stand up to your fears and saying I can be better, I will be better is a good start.

This kind of courage is like the same muscle mentioned before. It is not automatic and you’re not born with it, it must be worked in order to get strong enough to consistently take on insecurities that may pop up in your life. The more you do this, the easier it will become and the quicker you will grow; often at an exponential rate.

Courage For Breakfast

The only way to be able to face yourself and your flaws is by building the courage to do so daily. A tactic I usually suggest for people to use is to make a list of your fears, then pick one fear a day and face it. I won’t lie, most people go running for the hills at the sound of doing this, but a select few will take on the challenge and I get the pleasure of watching them grow and achieve their goals. Growth is not for the weak, it is for the courageous who desire to better themselves and their lives to achieve what they want in life. The only question left is which are you?

GI Griffin is a brutally honest cultural commentator and author, founder of The Tribe Academy, and host of the GI SAID IT show where bold perspective meets unfiltered truth. Known for his no-BS insights on human behavior and modern culture, GI challenges conventional thinking, exposes uncomfortable truths, and delivers bold insights for independent minds. View his show & essays here, or subscribe to his FREE newsletter here.